what a mess…

I have been anxiously awaiting this.  I knew it was coming, I just didn’t know when.  Tonight, it came.  I am torn at the result.

Forgive me, I’m a bit tipsy (read drunk) annd it’s 2 am on Wednesday…you’d think I’d have planned more appropriately for my breakdown but emotions aren’t on a schedule.

I was hit on tonight at the pub.  Hard.  By 2 men and a woman.  Oh yes.  And the end result?  Me laying onb the floor in my apartment analyzing my relationship with Chuck to Cliff.

Yep.  Cliff.  The full blown tears streaming down my cheeks admitting for the first time out loud that I knew in the very beginning Chuck and I didn’t fit and yet i kept on.

Oh yeah I’m at that spot in the break up.  The spot where you finally come to realization that you were faking it for months.   For almost it’s entirerty.

And at this point there is little more you can do than face it and mourn for it’s failure.

And tonight I cried.

~ by MJoy on October 14, 2009.